just come out here and I will go home with you...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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