It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Randomize
