Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is Oprah even human
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
