In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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