i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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