Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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