Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
