Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
