No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
