wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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