we're blogging at a bar
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
