JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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