we have officially lost it.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
