that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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