I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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