Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
