i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
