bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
