wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
