in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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