my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
