if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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