Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
