I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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