How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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