just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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