He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Randomize
