covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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