Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize