Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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