How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
