dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
