even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
