at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
