hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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