She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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