I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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