I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Quick, to the slutcave!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize