Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
