im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
