North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
