I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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