This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
