If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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