The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
