WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
