talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
