why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
