i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Sober January is a disaster.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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