But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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