I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
