I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize