Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
