Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
