somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
