you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
