i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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