he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
