Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I came so hard my ears popped.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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